One Son, Two Daughters, Three Incredible Blessings

We are home!

2006-09-12T13:56:00.000-04:00

We finally arrived home on Thursday afternoon and we are SO happy to be here! Going into their room for the first time and seeing THEIR personal things was like Christmas. I cried at their reactions and feel so blessed to finally have them here. Our lives have been hectic, but the girls are adjusting well! We are working through the newness and, of course, there have been some issues. But they have come so far!

My sisters and their families hosted a coming home party and the girls REALLY enjoyed meeting and playing with their cousins. It's all so overwhelming right now.

They watched their brother play football on Friday night. It was SO exciting! He has gotten MVP for both games and I am SO proud. He is leading GISA in tackles! K didn't take her eyes off of him and cheered with her pompoms all night! A, too, loved her pompoms and eventually, they will understand football better than I do.

Sunday was their first day at Sunday School and church and they're frustrated about not understanding. But in time that will come. They enjoyed meeting other children their age.

On Monday, they started gymnastics and now want to go everyday! After class, both coaches asked if they had ever taken gymnastics and were impressed with their abilities. Of course, I was beaming with pride!

Tuesday and Wednesday will be full of appointments (dental, medical, haircuts, etc) and they will be getting ready for school soon. They have met some Russian-speaking friends who have made them feel so comfortable. Thanks to M who explained so many things that they couldn't understand from my broken Russian. These conversations have made the world of difference!

I am tired, busy, overwhelmed, loved, blessed, thankful, excited and going through millions of other emotions! I cannot thank you enough for your encouragement, comments, prayers, and thoughts. In time, I will post pictures and comments from my journal about our ten days, the trip home, and our lives as we adjust.

Friday, September 1

2006-09-01T13:36:00.000-04:00

I haven't been able to find Internet anywhere in Stavropol! BUT there is a couple here from Florida who brought a laptop so I am borrowing that for now. I am so thankful! KC - they only have wireless now at the Euro, but it's free. And thanks for the BB updates, everybody. Thanks to those who are commenting - I LOVE reading them! I hope to respond to them all when I get home!

We leave the hotel at 6:15AM - please pray for us! Our flight to Moscow is at 8:00AM, so we should be settled into our apartment by lunch. The girls are excited about flying for the first time and about going to Moscow. I finally got to pick them up around 7:00pm on Wednesday - I have so much to write about that experience! It's been a busy two days here in Stavropol and boy, do I have stories to tell. Linda, that book you want me to write may become a reality! I did get their birth certificates and passports today. We will fly home, hopefully, on Wednesday.

I watched K and A sleep on Wednesday night and just cried and cried. I have NO idea how a woman could give these two beautiful girls away; it's something I could never understand. But while watching them, I, for the first time, am not mad at her for leaving them. They have been in a good place, albeit not the BEST, but they were taken care of and my family and friends will see that in them. They are beautiful and smart, caring and loving, well-mannered and happy, and while watching them sleep peacefully as my daughters and L's sisters, I was very grateful to their biological mother for placing their care in God's hands. He knew long ago that they were my daughters and from this time forward, they forever will be...

Tuesday, August 29

2006-09-01T04:12:00.000-04:00

We decided to walk from our hotel to the Intourist, where we would use the Internet and have lunch. We took what seemed like 100 steps straight up to get to the park. Those of you who know me know I'm not the most athletic person in the world! I think I had to stop at least four times to catch my breath! We passed children playing and enjoyed walking through the huge canopy of trees. It reminded me of an area in Central Park in NYC - peaceful and serene. We passed the local school where vendors had set up to sell school supplies - school begins on Friday. We headed towards the major streets of Pyatigorsk where there were cafes, stores, and a street market. It was SO interesting! Approaching Lenin Square, we had to take another 100 steps straight up. With the lack of food and the increase in exercise, I'm sure to have lost a little weight! And it was SO hot - I don't even know why I bother putting on make-up!

Lunch, as usual at the third floor cafe, was excellent. We enjoyed a salad of fresh tomatoes and cucumbers, and pasta and meatloaf. Yum! We rested a bit in the lobby and then decided to take the 25-minute walk back to our hotel. And poor J was wearing heels! Needless to say, with the heat and the exercise, we needed a nap!

The coordinator called and said the court documents were ready and I could pick the girls up on Wednesday! Finally, we will be together forever! Now I must wait only one week for all three of my children to be together!

Monday, August 28

2006-08-29T03:00:00.000-04:00

Today was Y's last day here so we picked her up to visit D for the last time. Before going to the orphanage, we stopped and bought pizza and soft drinks to take with us for all of the children. Y had to catch a flight that afternoon so we did not stay at the orphanage for very long. However, the children REALLY enjoyed the pizza and especially the Coca Cola! K and A were beautiful as always and I can really tell that they are getting anxious to go home (Mama, too!). We played with dolls for a little while and then it was time to go, but not before K reminded me that she needs more batteries for her CD player.

I found out that I may be able to take the girls with me on Wednesday for good! It depends on when the paperwork arrives from court. We will get passports on Friday and fly to Moscow on Saturday morning!

Please pray for our health; this Russian food is taking its toll. I think maybe we are in need of preservatives (this natural stuff is a shock to my system)!

Suz - I need a BB update. Nobody is taping it for me. Who has been voted off??

Sunday, August 27

2006-08-29T02:37:00.000-04:00

The drama continues here in Pyatigorsk. One of the couples here found out, as we were walking out the door to go to our respective orphanages, that a grandmother of their child came forward to adopt the child. You see, there are 16 cases of Americans abusing/killing their adopted Russian children; so when a relative hears "American" they quickly come forward, take the child for two, three, maybe four weeks and then send him or her back to the orphanage. Relatives feel the children are better off in the orphanage than in America. Russians don't hear the good stories that involve forever families, unconditional love, and nurturing. These abuse cases stay on the news five times a day for a month, but hundreds of success stories never make it to the news. So R and C were off to other orphanages today to find a son. Y arrived at my orphanage today. I told her days ago that there was a child for her there and sure enough, after visiting three different orphanages, she met her son, D.

Today was busy, but one of the best yet! I was able to spend some alone time with K and A. We played outside and I discovered K will be a pretty good tennis player. Get ready, L. She loves Maria Sharapova and she was excited to know that there is a poster of Maria in the children's TV/game room at home (some of you may remember my touch of femininity to L's "man room"). I gave K her CD player and A her cassette player - they were more than excited! A listened to her nursery rhymes and Bible songs all day. She is beginning to see consistency in my nature, so she doesn't go overboard to get my attention. She has gotten better at playing and being content about the fact that I am there to stay. K and I worked on her homework - she can already write her first and last name, knows her ABC's and 123's, and is working on colors and her teachers' names.

I did spend a lot of time with the other children, as well. I brought soccer balls, badminton sets, and paddles and balls for them. I brought American magazines (thanks, Traci) for N, who is 17. She loved them and so did all the other teenagers. It amazes me how much they enjoy learning about our culture and our language. One of the boys keeps asking me if America is beautiful and if I have a car. They don't see many cars in the village. It was so hot outside so we decided to go in; it was somewhat cooler, but with no A/C, there was not much of a difference. Five or six of the girls (whom I am getting SO attached to) learned about American money and luckily, I had enough coins to give them all one or two (they were in the bottom of a bag - I don't even know why I had them, but the girls were so grateful). I wrote down all of their birthdays and told K we would send presents on their special day. She was so excited as these girls are her closest friends. There is one, especially, that has gotten so attached to me and I to her. She is K's best friend and they are always together. She is SO precious! I wish I could beg someone in my hometown to adopt her. I wish I could take them ALL! Ir, K's best friend, got really upset today when I had to leave. Now, I just kiss her bye and say "zaftra". I don't know what we'll do on Thursday when we face the possibility that we may never see her again. I can't explain how precious these children are. One of the five mothers, Y (who has visited four-five orphanages in three days), says she's never seen an orphanage like ours. The children are so well-behaved, polite, respectful to adults and each other. They are all cute and loving and healthy. I am reminded every day how thankful I am to the director and caretakers for creating such an excellent environment and being such great role models. The children obviously are treated well, as each child has a great relationship with the caretakers.

The older girls served me tea this afternoon and it was incredible. They are great hostesses and have been taught well. We had cookies and hot tea (yes, in 100 degree weather) and it was delicious! K and A joined me and I have such wonderful pictures of our first tea party! The children were so proud to give us their candies and cookies during the day. They have hearts of gold and I can't imagine how sad I will be when K, A, and I have to leave them. When I have to go, they just gather around, walk me to the gate, and send me off with hugs and kisses. I wish I could express to them how much they've touched my life. To go through what they have gone through and still have such beautiful, caring, and giving hearts shows me the dignity, strength, and grace these children have.

To my bloggy friends who are in various stages of the adoption process - I know it seems as if I am in my own happy little adoption world. But whether you are thinking about adoption, waiting for a referral, deciding on a referral, getting ready to travel for trip one, preparing for court, or enjoying being at home with your children, I haven't forgotten about you. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

To everyone back home - Thanks for your continued support, thoughts, and prayers. I miss you!

Saturday, August 26

2006-08-27T02:02:00.000-04:00

Day 4 of the wait - puzzles, naps, a walk through the park - I'm running out of things to do! Fima was overwhelmed by five families today; my pick up time of 2:30pm turned into 8:00pm! All five families were able to get together for dinner tonight, though, and that was fun. It was nice to get out of the hotel and have a nice, normal, English conversation. I also made a vow that I will NEVER complain about my adoption process again! I, by far, have had the least painful adoption I've heard of. There are those who have lost their children for one reason or another. I met a couple who was on day 2 of court when a relative came forward to adopt their two girls. Their rooms at home were ready, a video of trip 1 made, showers given, clothes purchased. The mother is still devastated - I, quite frankly, don't know how I would cope! They've had to visit orphanages to find other children when they should be waiting out their 10 days. Another woman lost her referral on trip 1 after going to the orphanage to find the child missing! A relative came forward when she heard Americans were coming to adopt the girl. The mother is back this time to find other children. One couple lost a referral and were going from orphanage to orphanage to find a son. Only one of the four other couples are here on their initial trip 1 and everthing, so far, is going well for the adoption of 3 girls. Adoption is such a crazy process - we just want to give children love, a warm family, and a comfortable home. It shouldn't have to be this difficult!

I will meet all the families for breakfast on Sunday morning. Two families will go to one orphanage, one family to another, one family to the airport, and I will get to see K and A! I really don't know how Fima does it!

L - Call me! I need a football update! I love you SO much and miss you bunches!

Friday, August 25

2006-08-27T01:50:00.000-04:00

Before I begin, let me say a special "Thank you" to everyone reading my blog. It is such an inspiration to me to have so many dear and loyal friends. I couldn't have gone through this journey without you all and I love you!

Thursday was uneventful. Fima ordered lunch to be delivered to my room and we went to the amusement park in the afternoon. I chose this hotel because of the park and it's such a shame the girls won't be able to enjoy the games and rides. It is such a neat place! I did find Diet Pepsi and caramel candies there:)!

Friday was a fun day. We had breakfast (if you call ground beef in a pancake breakfast - more like Taco Bell if you ask me) at the Intourist and met two of the other four couples. We went to the orphanage and played for seven hours! The children were so excited about Americans being there. I don't feel like I got to spend much time with K and A, though. I taught English most of the day and J played games. There are so many adorable children at the orphanage and I am so thankful to meet them. They yearn for love and affection. My daughter, K, the photographer spent lots of time taking 150+ pictures. When she wasn't taking the pictures she was modeling for them. She is a beautiful child! A spent her day swinging from trees and being my wild child! She does enjoy doing whatever it takes to get my full attention. Sometime during the day, she realized I wasn't going anywhere and was able to entertain herself. The children loved the books I brought. Many of them asked question after question about L, our house, our car, whether we have cows, pigs, or chickens. They are so eager to learn English. Most of them already know many words. The orphanage is in need of so many things and there are so many things the girls and boys would appreciate. I plan to send things every month or so. If I can't take them out of their situation, at least I can try to make it a little better. These children are so beautiful, patient, kind, attentive, healthy. Several could go on to be baseball players, doctors, astronauts, nurses, teachers - but they will never be given the opportunity.

The children are happy for K and A, but for the first time today, I noticed a sadness. They realize that the girls are really about to leave. K, especially, has several close friends. Leaving on Thursday will be full of mixed emotions for them.

B - The girls LOVE the scrapbooks. I can't tell you how many times they and all their friends, and even the caretakers, looked at them. K is excited about it all and A is especially excited about the playground. They both already know their ABC's and numbers in English. Thanks for the update on L!

KC - Thanks for you words, they always inspire me.

L - Love you more than words can say!

Wednesday, August 23

2006-08-25T01:44:00.000-04:00

We left at 10:30 AM to go to the orphanage. I wonder what the girls think about this process. A was in the baby room (they just recently added 5 or 6 babies - before A was one of the youngest children). She ran to me and hugged me so tightly and we went to find K. Her friend saw us drive up and had already gone to get her. I guess I missed her when I was greeting A. A and I had gone upstairs to the older children's room and I saw for the first time where K sleeps. The beds are not even 2 1/2 feet wide and there were so many in one room! K wasn't with the other girls so we headed back down the stairs. A is so funny when she has a mission - she is so focused and purposeful! We heard K coming - she was running so fast to find me that she just fell into my arms! She thought I was there to take them home. Fima had to explain to them that they couldn't leave just yet. I am so sad!

We went outside to play and had a great time! K loves the digital camera, I may have a photographer in the making. A is very athletic and lvoes sports. We also blew bubbles, which they love. K learned how to write her name in English and I am realizing more and more how smart and determined she is. they experienced the 3D Viewmaster for the first time, which was so funny. A is hilarious! We also played a fishing game that has magnetic fish - they loved that! They ate Teddy Grahams for the first time.

It was time to leave and I hated that! They kissed me a million times and I realized it's as hard on them as it is on me. As they walked back to the orphanage, they turned around at least 3 times to wave "goodbye". These 10 days will be hard, but we've come a long way. This process will be over soon and they will be home. On the 45 minute drive back through their village, through M. Vody, their birthplace, to Pyatigorsk, I realized for the first time that my daughters have grown up in a village. There are goats and cows tied to trees, fields of grain and sunflowers, and people sitting in front of their houses selling produce they've grown. The houses are 1-2 rooms with outhouses and garden plots. I am overwhelmed by how much their world, their lives, everything they've known is about to change. When I'm at the orphanage, I can't help but look into the eyes of children who will never be adopted. And it breaks my heart. There are 16 year old girls who will never know the love of a mother. There are toddlers beating their heads on furniture because there is no one to tell them to stop or to just hold them instead. There are babies with no diapers on and no educational toys to spark their development, so they too will be neglected and never reach their potential. There are 10 children in this village waiting to be placed, but there is no room at our orphanage, so they stay in neglectful families where they don't belong. Our orphanage is already overcrowded and, unfortunately, the adoption process will become harder and more expensive. These children long for love and affection and it breaks my heart that most will NEVER get it.

We traveled to the Intourist for a good Russian meal. WOW! We had green Borscht, cucumber and tomato salad, and mashed potatoes with Chicken Kiev for me and Pork Chops for J. It was SO good! Fima has five families here this week, so I will not be able to see K & A on Thursday.

KC - I miss you so much and wish you were here - you made trip 1 so much better!

L - Congrats on Senior Class Officer! Good luck at your game on Friday night. I miss you and love you very much - E says you can ask for the room number in English (who knew!)

Everyone - Thanks for your comments - I enjoy hearing from you all so much!

Tuesday, August 22

2006-08-25T01:32:00.000-04:00

Court - Day 1: I was so nervous. I was prepared for most of the questions, but not all of them. The judge asked more questions than I expected, and they were very detailed. I really liked my attorney and my interpreter was very professional! It's the hardest day, so I was glad when it was over! We went shopping later that PM for balls and other items for the orphanage. That was an experience!

Court - Day 2: I walked in the front door of the courthouse and saw K sitting on a bench. As soon as she saw me, she ran down the hall to hug me. And she didn't let go... The social worker, orphanage director, and Minister of Health testified. They all went into many details about the gtirls and I learned more about them. Of course, I cried when I heard things they have said since April. K has really expressed herself. Since April, her grades have improved and she said she felt honored that I would choose them to be my daughters. She also explained how attached she and A had gotten to their brother, L. The orphanage director said K & A asked every day when I was coming back and eventually they became afraid that I would not return. The wait has been horrible for all of us! The judge approved my petition and I am the proud mother of two beautiful girls. I only wish L could have been there to hear everything that was siad in court about him! I am so blessed to be the mother of three special children.

I left the courtroom to find K. When I saw her in the hall, she looked so scared. She had no idea what was going on. This was the first time I had seen this expression. I walked up to her and said, "Tee moy dochka" and she smiled and hugged me tightly. We walked outside and the director told her they had to go back to the orphanage. She protested a little - she does not understand the process. While I do understand it, I don't agree with it. There is a 10-day waiting period, whihc is an appeal period. During the 10 days, I will visit the girls as much as I can. K said "Good Bye" in perfect English and kissed me. She walked to the corner, turned to wave, and then was gone. My heart melted.

I went back to the hotel to check out to go back to Pyatigorsk and learned that J was almost arrested for shoplifting in the grocery store. The officer did not realize she was trying to get money from her money belt (which she now refuses to wear); he thought she was stealing food! I still laugh about that! We drove 90 miles an hour to Pyatigorsk in 100 degree weather with no A/C! Thank goodness I had a sleeveless shirt and water! We passed a military convoy that contained at least 50-75 trucks! After driving about 2 hours, we met Fima at the hotel and he ordered some delicious pizza. We then settled in for a 10-night stay.

GREAT NEWS!

2006-08-23T07:57:00.000-04:00

I am now officially the mother of THREE!

Will post details later but my internet time for today is up. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I did find out that K & A will not get to spend the 10 day waiting period with me :(

L - I LOVE YOU!

Monday, August 21

2006-08-23T07:29:00.000-04:00

Hours with no sleep - 56
Airports passed through - 5
Drunk Russian men in row behind us on plane to M. Vody - 3
Flight from Moscow to M. Vody - 8740 rubles
Fee for luggage being overweight - 450 rubles
Water at the airport - 90 rubles
One night at Intourist in Pyatigorsk - 1900 rubles
Two Glasses of orange juice - 40 rubles
Hose for court (since I forgot them) - 75 rubles
Seeing and holding my two beautiful girls after 4 months and 1 day - PRICELESS!

First, let me say how thankful I am to have my best friend, J with me. Those of you who know her know she could win "The Amazing Race" and "Survivor" so I am not as worried about anything! The flight to Moscow was long, noisy, and uncomfortable. In front of us, sat a family of 5 whose baby Katarina was NOT happy; no sleep for me. We arrived at the airport and met Oksana, who arranged for us to be driven to Vnukovo Airport to wait for six hours. By this time, my ankles had tripled in size and I had to change shoes! I made a spectacle of myself by sitting on the floor and propping my pitiful feet on my luggage. Those who know me know that it must have been terribly necessary - I would usually be the mouse in the corner drawing NO attention to myself.

We finally boarded the plane to M. Vody which I was somewhat excited about. It brought me to the place where my daughters were born and to Fima, the BEST Interpreter/Driver in the world! The drunken men seated behind us were a little intimidating, but the food was okay. Seeing Fima at the airport in M. Vody was a huge relief. He has seen the girls several times and said they are excited. Whenever the children are told Americans are coming to the orphanage, K & A ask if it's their Mama :)

We traveled to Pyatigorsk and stayed at the Intourist in a tiny room with NO A/C. We are not going to do that again! In the region, it is so hot and dry that fires are a problem. We could see them from the plane. The next morning we traveled to the sanitorium (a resort spa) to meet the social worker and most importantly to pick up my daughter K. The drive was beautiful - lots of mountains and countryside. While we waited on K at the gates, the social worker asked many questions. It started to prepare me for court. K saw me before I saw her. My back was to her, but they told me that it was all she could do not to run. She hugged me so tightly and her first word was "Mama". After being away for four months I realized, at that moment, how much she and I bonded in April. She is such a beautiful child inside and out. She could not stop smiling. I am so thankful that she can read Russian. I have some great books that make communicating a little easier. We drove to the children's home to see A. My goodness, has that child grown! She may grow to be taller than all of us including her brother. Her hair has grown and she has good bangs. For those of you who don't know, A took scissors and removed her bangs before I saw her in April. She also has lost her two front teeth since I last saw her. A saw K first and ran to her. It warms my heart to see how close they are. A didn't see me until the social worker said "Mama" and A took off towards me. She is so small that it is easy for me to pick her up and that I did! To hold and love these children is such a blessing! We played games, read books, blew bubbles, and worked with their sticker books. They seem so happy.

The caretaker wanted to know which state I lived in and if we had any natural disasters. I responded "Yes if you consider this weather a natural disaster." It is approximately 100 degrees there which is NOT typical. Unfortunately I am accustomed to that in Georgia. I had to sign some additional paperwork and was told more about their medical and social histories. I was aware of most of it and had already picked up on their personalities. A has such a carefree spirit about her with no fear and K is so charming and reserved. I am so lucky to be the mother of these children. After visiting with the girls, we traveled to Stavropol to stay 2 nights for court on Monday and Tuesday. It is very nice here (although they have NO internet at the Euro - KC you should find that amusing). We have A/C and a grocery store nearby and they had the hose I needed for court! KC - thanks so much for your map. It is such a huge help and I am grateful.

There are issues with my medical report and it is a long story, but I am not happy when it comes to miscommunication. To make this long story short, I had to go to 2 Russian clinics on Monday AM for a chest X-ray and a blood test. Very interesting! I was surprised by how affordable it was. I was prepared to be charged hundreds of dollars, but all tests totalled approximately $40, and that includes expedited services. I am now waiting for court this afternoon. K will be present to testify on Tuesday.

I will post when we have a decision.

L: I miss you SO much! I hope school and football are going well for you. I hope you enjoy your packages. Be sweet, work hard, and you know how much I love you!

E and J: Thanks for helping. Love u!

Happy Birthday, K

2006-08-03T08:50:00.000-04:00

Completed Makeovers

2006-08-01T13:04:00.000-04:00

As you have read, I've been nesting. I painted K & A's room, my bedroom, the children's bath, and I still have L's room, my kitchen, and my bath to go. It's SO exciting to see the changes around here! I'm excited about L's room, too; he's a University of Georgia fan (hopefully, UGA bound next fall), so his new room will be nothing but red, black, and white with Georgia Bulldogs. He's actually participated in some of the planning, which was fun.

These were dressers my grandmother had. One has a new top and the other has new sides. Both have fresh coats of paint (several) and new knobs. Who knew I could be so crafty! My sister, J, gave me the headboards and my mother gave me the wallhanging and did the flower arrangement.

On to the bathroom... I wanted bright colors and after giving L some options, we chose orange, yes, orange paint! And he said, even though he's 17 years old, that the duckies would be okay. What a sweetheart!

L has a "man room" where the guys hang out to watch TV and play video games.

Below is my attempt to add some femininity. Somehow, I don't think he bargained for this!

Now I'm off to find a Mia Hamm or Brandi Chastain poster or maybe some softball paraphernalia...

Long Day...

2006-07-27T03:00:00.000-04:00

At the end of this day, financial issues are weighing heavy on my heart.

I've written requests for grants, I've applied for loans, depleted savings and retirement accounts, I've changed my payroll deductions, I've worked extra jobs and used tax refunds. I have accepted contributions from friends and family, and unfortunately, they have no more money to give. I sold my home and am now renting to lower the monthly payments. My closest friend has given me a large sum of money and even contributed her bonus check! My sister, E, allowed me to use her credit card for some of the travel expenses for Trip One. I'm planning a benefit concert and a yard sale, but it's just not enough. AND I didn't budget properly for summer airline tickets. My friend, J, reminds me, "You're a single mother who teaches at a private school; you can't possibly do this alone. Providing for your family on a monthly basis is one thing, but coming up with the funds for the adoption of not one, but two children is difficult." It seems impossible to amass enough upfront money to adopt my girls. They are already 11 and 6 years old and without financial assistance, it will take years to save that amount of money! I know these are decisions I made. I chose to be a single mom, I chose to teach at the private school where my son attends, and initially, it was my choice to answer the call to adopt K and A. When God gives us a course of action, we must move steadily toward our destination. We must recognize the destiny, accept it, and commit to it!

The Choice to Adopt: The motivation I have to adopt is difficult to put into words. I’m not sure how you communicate the love you already feel for children who are in an orphanage over 6,000 miles away; children whose language and culture is completely different than your own. Somehow I know that these girls are my daughters. I can think of no greater gift to give or receive than being able to give two little orphaned girls a family and watch them become the individuals that they were destined to be. It is every child's right to have the love of a family. In a sense, my motivation is simply to give them a life that they would not have otherwise; I want them to have the opportunities they deserve.

The Choice to Teach: After many years of working in the corporate arena as a Tax Manager, I made a life-altering decision to become a teacher. I decided to put myself through college for the second time to work on a Master of Education degree. It has always been a dream for me to be able to teach and mold the minds of young people on a daily basis. The monetary sacrifice of my career change has been significant but absolutely worth it. Unfortunately, the decrease in salary makes it difficult to save for the adoption.

I'm anxious, nervous, and even scared at times about the finances and finally going to Russia to bring my sweet, beautiful daughters home. TWICE today I have seen these verses:

"I took you from the ends of the earth,

from its farthest corners I called you.

I said, 'You are my servant';

I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:9-10

I recently came across this comment: "If God calls you to adopt, He will make a way to provide the ransom." I know that God is with me and I continue to have hope and faith. On long days like this one, when I'm faced with challenges, fear and insecurity, though my hope may fade, God's work continues! His voice is calling, His hand is leading, His presence is surrounding, and His love is falling down!

Summer is Almost Over

2006-07-25T12:02:00.000-04:00

I visited the school today to get K and A registered. It was so exciting! I also had to discuss my maternity leave with my headmaster...not so exciting! In the past, when I've had to be out of school, it was for weeks at a time for an extended illness or a surgery. So my being out for four weeks is "typical Tina fashion". It is SO difficult to find a substitute for high school math and I feel so guilty! Of course, there's nothing I can do. I really would have liked to bring the girls home after trip 1! I would have liked a May, June, or even a July court date! Who WANTS to wait this long to bring their children home? But we adoptive families take what we can get! And thankfully!

One of my teacher friends, B, is doing one of the sweetest things for my girls. She is making a small scrapbook for me to take to them so that they can become familiar with people and places at their new school. It will contain pictures of the school, the girls' classrooms and teachers, new friends, the lunchroom, the art room, the gym, etc. She's also putting together worksheets that we can do together during our 10-day waiting period.

Well, I must get back to touching up the new paint in the children's bathroom, applying for grants, and packing in my head :)

Patience is necessary, and one cannot reap

immediately where one has sown.

~ Soren Kierkegaard

(Journal: August 1, 1935)

Prayer Requests

2006-07-21T23:01:00.000-04:00

I hope everyone is doing well! As most of you know, I am leaving for Russia in 28 days! And you know me...I'm going through a million emotions. Please keep me in your prayers. With so much going on in that area right now, I'm worried about travel. Will I have ALL of the money and the paperwork I need? Will I wear the right thing and answer the judge's questions properly? Will the girls get to stay with me during that awful 10-day waiting period? Will their clothes fit? Did K get her birthday presents? Is the house clean enough? Did I make all the necessary medical and dental appointments? Did I schedule L's senior pictures? Can I balance everything out and meet all the needs of my three children?

Please pray for L. Because of joint enrollment and football, he will not be going with me this time. He's a little anxious about my traveling (so far there are no families scheduled to go with me), about my missing his first two football games as a senior (I've never missed any), and the fact that he'll have to do math and College English for three weeks without me (okay, even though his Mom absolutely LOVES math - that's why she teaches it - he HATES it)! Pray for us both as we make memories and enjoy our last days of just the two of us. We've spent some very good quality time together lately. We both realize our lives are about to change. As any mother knows, every "last" has some grief that comes with it. L and I, as well as K and A, we're all about to experience changes in each life as we know it. But we are so excited about changes that are about to come.

Pray for K and A: patience and peace while they wait for Mom, patience with their Mom (her Russian is not what it should be and communication will be difficult at times), strength and courage as they prepare to leave everything they've ever known, and safe travels to America.

Thank you all for being so thoughtful and dedicated to prayer! I don't know what I'd do without you!

My Son

2006-07-14T23:22:00.000-04:00

The Call

2006-07-07T16:22:00.000-04:00

I am so overwhelmed at this moment. You invision the reaction in your head a million times. Oh, but I was NOT prepared! I've been through so many roadblocks lately. I had no idea that today would be the day that I've waited on for so long! Yes, I have THE COURT DATES! August 21st and 22nd! I couldn't even pay attention to what my caseworker was telling me! So many thoughts and emotions were going through my mind! The time is finally coming and hopefully, my girls will be home soon! Thank you SO much to those praying for me. And to those waiting, my thoughts and prayers are with you...

Daily Blessings

2006-07-05T22:41:00.000-04:00

I have been so worried about my package getting into the proper Russian hands. There have been so many shipping problems! One friend's package didn't even get to where it was going and she had to redo all of her medicals. My package contains documents that I don't even want to think about redoing! My caseworker called today and wanted me to call FedEx immediately to see if the package had left Moscow. As you all know, it was scheduled to be in my region on Thursday. I need it to get there so that I can get a court date! I've been tracking it and it was now leaving Moscow for the SECOND time. But I needed to call to verify. A very nice person told me, "Yes, it has left Moscow and will be in the region on Thursday." Good, we're on schedule. I call my caseworker back and she's on the phone...she calls me back and it just so happens that she was on the phone with my region coordinator. He had the package in his hands! WOW! Now I'm on pins and needles wondering how long it will take to translate the documents so that I can get that court date!

Prayer Request/Journal Entry

2006-07-05T18:00:00.000-04:00

I wanted to share an e-mail I sent out to my prayer group this morning.

TO: Those Special People Praying for Me and My Family

Those of you who know me well know that I am usually quiet and never speak up about anything and I try not to ask for anything. I guess this is part of my “save the world” mentality. But the Lord has put this request on my heart this morning. I apologize, in advance, for this rather lengthy e-mail.

First of all, let me thank you. To be comfortable enough to share this with a group of people, to me, is amazing. Yes, I have many friends, but I think I’ve held up some sort of curtain my entire life and now I realize we all need “sheltering trees”. NewSong defines them as “friends in our lives who get down on their knees and lift us up before the King of kings…a place of refuge we can run when trouble comes…someone we can count on…”

Within the last week, I have happened upon this verse several times in several ways (it’s even on a billboard – there’s nothing like it in the world – God putting something in front of your face when you need to see it!):

“If my people, who are called by my name,
will humble themselves and pray and seek
my face…I will hear from heaven… (2 Chronicles 7:14)

If we seek God continually, He will answer our prayers. I am reminded of Matthew 18:19-20:

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth
agree about anything you ask for, it will be
done for you by my Father in heaven. For
where two or three come together in my name,
there am I with you.”

I strongly believe in the power of prayer and I would be honored if you would pray for me as I continue on this journey.

I knew as a child that I wanted to adopt, although I may not have known why. I think I was 5 or 6 when the word first came out of my mouth. I seriously felt the urging, the conviction, the call, a few years ago. R. Vallett said “The human heart feels things the eyes cannot see and knows what the mind cannot understand.” I love children and helping them learn and grow has always been something near and dear to my heart – that’s why I teach. Some are called to be missionaries, ministers of music, Sunday school teachers, pastors, worship leaders – I feel I was called to be a teacher and, more importantly, to be a mother. God has blessed me with such a wonderful child. If you know my son, you know that he is one of the most wonderful, caring, intelligent, well-behaved, humorous, outgoing, patient people in the world. He is such a compassionate being. After having an only-child for 17 years, I really had to pray about how this would affect L’s life. He has always been my main priority. We’ve talked a lot about it and while he would never voice any negative feelings about the adoption, he knows his life will be changed forever. I think he is looking forward to being a big brother – the 200+ pictures from our trip to Russia show that. Looking at the pictures best explains what feelings we all felt.

Many people ask, “Why do you want to adopt?” At first, I told everyone, “I’ve always wanted lots of children. I want to expand my family. I want to give these children hope for the future and opportunities they will never otherwise have”. After growing spiritually through this process and becoming more like the person God wants me to be, I realized I truly felt led to do this. Every child deserves a loving family and I want to give love to children who desperately need it! God has opened so many doors to make this happen and He has held my hand the entire way. Many say, “Why did you choose Russia?” “How can you do this as a single mom?” I have several answers to those questions:

1) How can I NOT do it, single or not? Adoption is God’s perfect plan for transforming orphans into sons and daughters. It is every child’s right to have the unconditional love of a family. God placed the love of children in my heart and I cannot ignore that. There are 700,000 orphaned children in Russia alone. Only 1 in 100 will be adopted. Of the children not adopted and turned away from the orphanage, one-third will become homeless and one-fifth will resort to crime. Ten percent commit suicide. In our world today, a child is orphaned every 14 seconds. The world is broken, but there is “one love, one blood, one life, you’ve got to do what you should”. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you expect to see in the world”. I kept hearing “Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, try to be who you really are, life is short and often only gives one chance to DO things”. What can I do? What do I need to do? I could not stand on the sidelines any longer. With many prayers and much patience, I realized God’s timing is now. My girls don’t care if I’m single, they just “want a mama”, which leads me to…

2) I had been doing months and months of research. I had even considered another set of sisters, but they were adopted in early November. Again, I had to trust God’s timing. I was on the internet one night looking through listings with hundreds of pictures of available children. I found a picture of the sweetest girls with a caption that read “we want a mama”. Ironically, it said nothing about a papa, which was good news for me. As you all know, I am, and choose to be, a single mother. I printed the picture and put it on my nightstand. I had no idea what I was doing. I did not know where the girls were, I did not know very much about the process, I did not know anything about them or their situation, I did not know what to expect. I did know that I had NO money to embark on such a journey, but this was something I really wanted to do. Two days later, I received an e-mail from my agency. My agent sent the very same picture with the girls’ information and at that moment, I became “pregnant in heart”. So I did not choose Russia. I feel that God planned ahead of time for my daughters by adoption. I asked Him to lead me and for some reason, He led me to these girls. There was NO question that God’s timing is now; I must take a leap of faith and answer God’s call. Only God has the plan for my life and I have to trust that. So the journey begins…

As you now know, I have been officially “pregnant in heart” since late November. The entire process of bringing my daughters home has been so many things: overwhelming, joyful, tearful, prayerful, heart-wrenching, painful, frustrating, fear-filled, hopeful, full of challenges, the list of emotions goes on. Adoption does things to your mind, body, and spirit. I have been through so much - excessive paperwork, many phone calls and faxes, doctors’ visits, blood tests (L, too), hundreds of dollars in postage and overnight fees, not to mention gas to track down notaries and then to Atlanta on NUMEROUS trips to spend hundreds of dollars on apostilles; there have been many stumbling blocks, and it has been difficult. At times, I’m sick and tired. At other times, I eat too much to help relieve the stress. I have had road blocks everywhere, but God is breaking through them. While I’ve tried to make sense of it all, I’ve realized I don’t need all the answers to all of life’s questions. God has been with me and He has opened my eyes and guided me to be the person He wants me to be. I don’t see it all clearly, but the one thing I know is this: While I am impatient, I must wait for His timing…

After seeing my daughters in April, leaving them was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I was able to hold them, trace their hands and feet, watch them play and laugh, take pictures of them with their brother, hear them call me “Mama”. I knew once I met my daughters, my life would be changed and I would never be the same. I instantly became a mother of three and now, I know nothing else. It is difficult to imagine that these beautiful children with such precious smiles and personalities have seen horrible things and been victims of neglect. I am overwhelmed by their beauty and their dignity. I was extremely sad to enter their lives for such a short period of time and then leave. They know they now have a mother, yet they know not when she will return to get them! These children were born in my heart and I love them dearly! So now I deal with the pain of separation. Do they know their Mama is trying to get there? Are they okay? One of my prayers is that K is home before her 12th birthday on August 3rd. But I haven’t asked anyone else to pray for that and I’m reminded that one of the things I’ve gone through is loneliness. Yes, there are so many people supporting me, but I can’t expect anyone around me to understand exactly what I’m going through, partly because I haven’t voiced it. Then the Lord reminds me “You are not alone”.

Sometimes, though, I do feel alone; as if I’m losing my mind. I go to the mailbox every day looking for something, anything…before it was the INS approval, letters from licensing agencies, etc. Now it’s a grant approval; I do not know where the rest of the money is coming from. I go sometimes twice a day, thinking the postman forgot a letter, and brought it back later. I have ECD – e-mail checking disorder. I check my e-mail at least 25 times a day, hoping for anything from my adoption agent; an e-mail that says “Congratulations, good news, your court date is…” or an e-mail that contains the orphanage address so that I can send my daughter a birthday gift because it looks as if she will spend yet another birthday there without her family, without a birthday cake, without birthday gifts. In February, I thought, “oh, K and A will definitely be home for their birthdays, how exciting”! But now it’s the beginning of July, I have no court date, and the court calendar is filling. Paperwork has slowed us down. I sent the last set of additional documents on June 22nd, and as you can imagine, I’ve tracked that package at least five times each day – as if the truck/plane could go any faster! It is expected in my region on July 6th and after reviewing my dossier, the court will set a date. I am told no later than September. Soon, soon, soon I hope!

One of my “pregnant in heart” friends explains the process like this:
“At first, there's not too much to do. Life seems pretty normal while you take care of a few things. The whole idea is pretty new. Then you find out the home study agency is coming. You begin "nesting". You clean your house furiously and meticulously trying to get ready. Then you have a period of rest when you are waiting for INS, the Home Study agency, etc. Then there is a flurry of late nights and running everywhere preparing. With a pregnancy, your body is uncomfortable, you don't sleep well at night, and you're running to doctor's appointments every two weeks. With adoption, you are filling out post placement agreements, registration obligations, gathering birth certificates, filling out financial paperwork, dealing with the Secretary of State’s office and licensing agencies, etc. You're running everywhere getting papers notarized and apostilled, getting fingerprints, police clearance, and yes, going to the doctor. With pregnancy, you lose sleep because your body is uncomfortable and you pray that your baby will be born healthy with 10 fingers and 10 toes. With adoption, you loose sleep wondering if all of your paperwork will be approved, if your children are healthy in a country where it is below zero most of the time, if they have been held that day and loved on, if they know momma is coming to get them. Then when the dossier is sent off it is just wait time. When you are pregnant, you can feel the baby kick you and stick their feet in your ribs. You have a difficult time breathing. When you are adopting, you wish you could feel any piece of them. You wouldn't mind being kicked and poked. Sometimes you have a hard time breathing when you walk past their picture for the millionth time and you still don't have a call. Then the day comes, you go into labor. Your body works overtime pushing out a beautiful new human being. You lose many hours of sleep nursing and comforting in the middle of the night. With adoption, you get the call that changes your life. You hop on a plane and fly to the other side of the world, which is not just 1 or 2 time zones away, but a completely different day. You catch one plane to the next, without sleep, rest, or a shower. You get to see and hold your babies for a few short hours for a few short days. Then you whirlwind back to the other side of the world without them. Talk about sleep deprivation and having your days and nights mixed up! As a birth mother, I could not imagine leaving my child in the hospital and waiting weeks and months to be told to come back and get him or her. However, this is what adoptive parents do. The praying becomes more intense, the pain of separation a world away becomes worse, the sleepless nights become harder. Adoptive parents have to go into labor twice! Ugh! At the end of the journey, both adoptive parents and pregnant moms end up with the same result, beautiful children that the Lord has entrusted to them to raise for His glory. One's child is birthed in her body; one's child is birthed in her heart. Both are beautiful and truly special!” Please read her beautiful diary @ http://russianadoptiondiary.blogspot.com/

As I continue to “nest” (I’ve painted the girls’ room, my bedroom, and now I’m painting both upstairs baths), to wait, wish, hope, and pray, I thank you for listening and for praying with me.

Today’s Prayer (one of many): Lord, you have been both gracious and patient with me. Thank you for your many showers of blessings. I have been rained on spiritually, emotionally, financially, and through friends and family. You have been with me completely on this journey and I ask that you please continue to be with me. You know my needs, Lord, and I know that you will provide in your time and in your way.

As always, I will keep the light in their bedroom on, I will cry every time I walk past their pictures, and as I do when L is away, I will go in their rooms a million times a day just to “look”. And when I have those breathless moments, I will continue to pray…

Introduction

2006-07-05T08:01:00.000-04:00

Hi! My name is Tina and I am the proud mother of a 17-year-old son, L. I teach Math at a private school where I am also the Drama Director. I am in the process of adopting two beautiful girls from Russia. They are sisters who are 11 and 6. I returned from trip 1 on April 20th and have been through so many emotions since! After leaving my girls over 6400 miles away, I have frantically been praying, doing paperwork, waiting patiently, trying to stay busy, redoing paperwork, mailing packages, praying, waiting patiently, painting, well, you get the picture. I was told I would have a court date during the first week of June; here it is the first week of July...packages are delayed here and there...they need more documents...my girls are waiting...I am losing that patience I thought I had...

I am told that I will possibly get a court date early next week. I was so hoping that the girls would be at home with me all summer before they begin school in a foreign place surrounded by foreign people who speak a foreign language. They are about to leave everything as they know it and I so wanted these few months to bond and to help them feel somewhat comfortable. But if I have learned anything during this process, it is that I must trust in the Lord's timing, wait for His answers, believe in His miracles, and relax in His presence. I'm trying, Lord, I am!