Long Day...

At the end of this day, financial issues are weighing heavy on my heart.

I've written requests for grants, I've applied for loans, depleted savings and retirement accounts, I've changed my payroll deductions, I've worked extra jobs and used tax refunds. I have accepted contributions from friends and family, and unfortunately, they have no more money to give. I sold my home and am now renting to lower the monthly payments. My closest friend has given me a large sum of money and even contributed her bonus check! My sister, E, allowed me to use her credit card for some of the travel expenses for Trip One. I'm planning a benefit concert and a yard sale, but it's just not enough. AND I didn't budget properly for summer airline tickets. My friend, J, reminds me, "You're a single mother who teaches at a private school; you can't possibly do this alone. Providing for your family on a monthly basis is one thing, but coming up with the funds for the adoption of not one, but two children is difficult." It seems impossible to amass enough upfront money to adopt my girls. They are already 11 and 6 years old and without financial assistance, it will take years to save that amount of money! I know these are decisions I made. I chose to be a single mom, I chose to teach at the private school where my son attends, and initially, it was my choice to answer the call to adopt K and A. When God gives us a course of action, we must move steadily toward our destination. We must recognize the destiny, accept it, and commit to it!

The Choice to Adopt: The motivation I have to adopt is difficult to put into words. I’m not sure how you communicate the love you already feel for children who are in an orphanage over 6,000 miles away; children whose language and culture is completely different than your own. Somehow I know that these girls are my daughters. I can think of no greater gift to give or receive than being able to give two little orphaned girls a family and watch them become the individuals that they were destined to be. It is every child's right to have the love of a family. In a sense, my motivation is simply to give them a life that they would not have otherwise; I want them to have the opportunities they deserve.

The Choice to Teach: After many years of working in the corporate arena as a Tax Manager, I made a life-altering decision to become a teacher. I decided to put myself through college for the second time to work on a Master of Education degree. It has always been a dream for me to be able to teach and mold the minds of young people on a daily basis. The monetary sacrifice of my career change has been significant but absolutely worth it. Unfortunately, the decrease in salary makes it difficult to save for the adoption.

I'm anxious, nervous, and even scared at times about the finances and finally going to Russia to bring my sweet, beautiful daughters home. TWICE today I have seen these verses:

"I took you from the ends of the earth,

from its farthest corners I called you.

I said, 'You are my servant';

I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:9-10

I recently came across this comment: "If God calls you to adopt, He will make a way to provide the ransom." I know that God is with me and I continue to have hope and faith. On long days like this one, when I'm faced with challenges, fear and insecurity, though my hope may fade, God's work continues! His voice is calling, His hand is leading, His presence is surrounding, and His love is falling down!